Ski Cohen '98

A roundup of the usual suspects: Eliot, Steve, Tom, Joe, Arnie, Jeff, Arthur, and David are joined by an unsuspecting Rich on a weeklong debacle at Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

Sunday - The trip started out at 6:30 AM with Eliot realizing that he had left his wallet home. He called Nancy, who has never gotten up at 7AM in all of recorded history, to rendezvous with us in Northboro.

 

A nice flight via a connection in Chicago, Steve waiting for us at the Jackson airport. We settled down in a condo off to the side of the ski area. It took a while - Tom kept reading the wrong house numbers.

Joe and Tom, seen in a rare moment of fraternal affection: Typical quote "Steve, we're capable of multimedia, we can talk about wine and chew gum at the same time !"

On the way to beer at the "Million Dollar Cowboy Saloon", Steve claimed that he "didn't like to hit pedestrians on the first day of a trip." Tom objected "Go ahead, you're from Massachusetts."

After a great meal at Bubba's, Joe and Eliot were exclaiming about the beans "Really good beans !" "Weren't Boston Baked, but they were really good !" "You won't have to turn on the bubbles in the Jacuzzi tonight," says Eliot.

Monday - An interesting day on the slopes. David, who refuses to ski with the other maniacs, had a good day on the blue slopes. Everybody else hit the black diamonds, which were in less than stellar shape. Arnie, who should have known better, followed Tom and Joe, and blew his knee out. At the end of the day, we met at the Mangy Moose (seen here from the ventral view, which makes the two physicians very excited.) Everybody asked "Where's Arnie ?" Everybody responded "Who cares ?" Not true, we love Arnie, but the moose is special.

 

Dinner was under the Tom's supervision. With Arthur at the salad bar, Eliot doing the pasta sauce, Rich as the waiter, and Jeff and David as official tasters. Too many cooks, but the broth was magnificent. The post- prandial conversation revolved around politics, fireplaces, and Clinton's climatic inclinations. It was resolved that the nuclear annihilation of both Iran and Iraq, and maybe Cleveland, is a positive move. After all, our cars and trucks can run on radioactive fuel, just as well as on unleaded. "Just fill it up with Cobalt 60, please, and check the oil."

Tuesday - 6 to 12 inches of fresh powder made a lot of folks very happy. Joe and Tom skied some "massive tree runs, dodging the snow ghosts." This writer has been instructed to note that "David pussied out at 11:30." Rich revealed his skiing secrets: "Ski like a madman until you wipe out, then get up and ski like a madman." Rich fits right in with this crowd.

The hot tub followed for some. Jeff took a nap. "At least Jeff is doing what he does best," says Eliot.

After dinner at a local Mexican restaurant, Eliot and Steve wandered off to the bar. The rest of the crew lost patience, crowded into one car to go home, and jury-rigged the front door so E & S couldn't get in.

This is what happens when you let your subscription to "Modern Maturity" lapse.

 

Wednesday - The guys are turning into Internet wizards. Eliot was typing in email this morning. "How do you spell 'torture" ?" he wondered. "If you need to know any spelling, just ask Tom," said Joe. "If he doesn't know, he'll make something up."

Arnie hobbled home today. He left his leg brace behind - we're thinking of hanging it on the wall next to the bearskin. The day was clear, the skiing was great. Arthur says that Rich continues to maintain the record for most falls in the group. Rich proudly concurs.

Almost everybody went into Jackson to shop for gifts. Eliot picked up a menu for Stieglers restaurant. You have to call these folks 24 hours in advance if you want the Pork Tenderloin Wellington. Rich asks how long they need for a Caesar Salad. Jeff is holding out for the Sachertorte mit Schlag. Meanwhile, Tom makes another gourmet meal for tonight - turkey sausage calzone.

Tomorrow 5 of the guys are renting snowmobiles and heading to Yellowstone. A long day ahead.

 Thursday - Eliot, Steve and Tom went off to ski at Targhee. Jeff, Joe, Arthur and David went on a guided snowmobile trip through Yellowstone National Park.

You want to know what it's like to snowmobile through Yellowstone ? Try joining the rodeo. A very cold rodeo. You hang on for dear life while the machine bounces around the the ruts at 45 miles an hour. A high point of the trip occurred when the guide signaled for a stop, and most of us did, but Rich kept on going. The guide had to chase after Rich and bring him back. We decided not to tip the guide.

We stopped at Old Faithful for lunch and to watch the geyser blow its top. It went off 10 minutes too early, which is what happens when you get old, or so they say.

 Friday - Well, a week of oxygen deprivation, familial deprivation and privacy deprivation is having its effects. Arthur made the statement this morning that "women look better with their clothes on," a notion this writer has never heard before.

Tom remembered that there is a Web browser in the surgeons' lounge at his hospital, and that most of the "favorites" on the browser link to unhh, well, you can probably guess. Jeff was trying to figure out how anybody could make money on the Internet. He says that the most popular section of the Worcester Telegram Web site is the obit page. David suggested a national obit Web page, where you could check to see which of your cronies had kicked it, but who would advertise on it? Rich suggested a national "under indictment" Web page.

Everybody except David hit the slopes today under a partly sunny, but cold morning. Dinner at Stiegler's restaurant - some ordered elk medallions, some venison, good food.

David, grovelling about for a ride home from Logan, discovered that he is persona non gratia with Grace. Apparently after Tom and Grace drove David home last year, they didn't receive the effusive thank-you note that David emailed. Grace, the bits are in the mail.

 Saturday - The last day of skiing. Rich left for the airport at 5 AM, Steve followed after 6. Arthur shipped out at about 2 in the afternoon. The day was cold, clear skies, the slopes were in beautiful shape, which was good because these old men are really hurting.

Somebody in the Mangy Moose asked Tom if he was from Hollywood. We'll never hear the end of this.

It's been a good week. The snow was great, the food superlative, and the intellectual companionship was invigorating.

Wait a minute - that was a different trip.

Joe dumped the rest of his mates for the afternoon.(Eliot was becoming a real pain in the butt.). He skiied some "radical cliffs and chutes off the north-facing slopes of Cheyenne Bowl"and lived to tell the tale. Finally, he was able to show what he is really made of! Joe's opinion that this trip surpassed any of the previous "Cohen Ski Bunny" affairs. The only problems(besides Arnie's medical woes) were that we're not sure where Dave found any intellectual companionship and Joe's Ray-Ban's fogged up in the Jacuzzi on our last day. All in all, a splendid adventure for the hapless troubadours from Mass.

To be continued at http://www.asian-babes.com

 

Comments, curses and lawsuits should be addressed to mailto:DavidLow@acm.org