Ski '00

Once again a bunch of zeroes gets together to celebrate the joys of frozen drool.

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Fe26-015.jpg (22794 bytes)Here they are when they were young and foolish.  Now they are no longer young.



Arthur, Tom and Joe left for Salt Lake early and joined up with Jeff, who arrived a day earlier.  These guys put in a half day meditation at Brighton, whilst Eliot, Steve, Rich and David winged their ways across the skies to arrive in balmy Salt Lake in the PM.

Dinner was interesting, the intended restaurant, a pleasant memory from 5 years ago, was just that.  The Holy Men ended up in a Tex-Mex dating bar, where they tried to convince young things of the errors of their sinful ways.  The Prayer.jpg (18032 bytes)young things didn't seem to pay much attention.Docs.jpg (21199 bytes)

Eliot prays to the Ski gods. 

Tom and Joe pray to the young things. Actually, what are they doing?




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The winds howled down from the mountains all night long.  Breakfast was, amazingly enough, full of talk about bits, bytes and Internet Commerce.  Friar David wanted to talk about the young lady in the red blouse.  "I'm a married man," said Rabbi Tom. 

With fearful trepidation, the Holy Ones snaked their way up the canyon to Solitude early AM in overcast, 47 weather.  "It's gonna be cold at the top" somebody said.

It was cloudy, balmy, eastern Spring skiiing.  Not much challenge for the maniacs, but nice cruising for everybody. The Blessed Ones were a mess of sodden, but sacred sweat at the end of the day, or 2 PM, whichever comes first.

Arthur.jpg (5259 bytes)A little holy water (courtesy of Gatorade), ritual bathing to disinfect the spirit (or was that ritual spirits to disenfect the bath?). Ritual.jpg (23468 bytes) Then Rabbi Tom hitched up his robes and prepared a stunning gourmet dinner.  After blessing all the calories, Abbots Arthur and Rich cleaned up (bet you didn't know that was in his repertoire).

Tom finished up his tour de force with a showing of "Clerks", after shooing out a technogeek who was playing computer games.   Ha, you guessed wrong!

Alta.jpg (13878 bytes)Monday

Another warm day as the boys headed up to Alta.  Brothers Arthur and Rich claimed that the rest of the Alta Boys (led astray by Father Joe) dumped them at the base lodge.   Base calumny, but true.

A little cooler than yesterday, some frozen rain and brisk winds at the top, but occasional glimpses of sun and blue sky.  Everybody was tired and happy at the end of the day.  Easy to please.

Back to the condo for more communal bathing, libations and another amazing dinner from Rabbi Tom and Father Joe.  Tom dozed off as soon as he ran out of bathroom jokes, in other words, about 2 hours.


It rained pretty much all night long, but the ski web pages said that Snowbird and Alta had gotten 12" of the new stuff.   Techno-wusses Jeff and David remained back at the monastery to meditate, while the rest of the Sanctimonious Ones headed off to Snowbird. 

It was tough - heavy wet snow in poor visibility.  Brother Eliot says that now he knows what causes fatigue on the slopes. Pure terror - when you can't see, and don't know whether you're going down a road or a double diamond.

They returned, humbled, before 2.

But redemption was nigh!  Everybody headed off to the Seafood Buffet in Deer Valley.  Park City and Deer Valley were shrouded in rain, the stores and streets practically deserted. But the Buffet was heavenly.  Friar Steve outdid us all - he really tucked it away.  There were gasps of wonder and envy as he went back for the 37th time for yet more crab legs.

It may have been raining, but we rolled the windows down on the ride back.


Boys.jpg (29060 bytes)Heaven.

The Blessed Boys all agree.  Blue skies at Alta, cold enough to keep a couple of new inches on the surface, no lift lines.  Answered prayers.  Tom and Joe do the whole mountain, Eliot and Steve aren't far behind.

Here are Arthur (looking for someplace to take a trail), Jeff (looking for someplace to take a nap), and Rich (looking for someplace to take a fall).

Back to the base, where Jeff and Arthur go out for business, and Tom feeds the rest of us with gourmet pizza.  Politics dominates the conversation - Brother David, the only democrat at the dinner table, capitulates to the golden calf.  Although he would actually prefer an inflatable sheep.


The pair a docs went home early AM to deal with numerous malpractice suits ("OK Mrs. Jones, now turn your head and cough.")  It turned out their flight was cancelled due to inclement weather in Boston.Moreboys.jpg (20639 bytes)

Rich stayed home to finish off some business.  The remaining Beatific Boys headed off to Alta yet again - it was bliss !  Bro David claimed he skied like a god, Abbot Eliot thought that particular religion must have pretty low entry requirements, deitistically speaking.

Back home we got emails from the docs saying they had made it home via Atlanta.   Rabbi Tom inadvertently included a note he had previously written to his long-suffering wife.  We quote:

hi sweetiepie. had a wonderful night sharing a room with [censored]. his
[censored] brought back fond memories.everybody is fine and we're looking
forward to suckering eliot and steve down another death chute. we greeted
everybody who walked by our room, we're next to the main room , with a
friendly [censored]. they really do miss us.

Dinner at a local steak house, where the waitresses all of a sudden stopped serving and did a Texas line dance.  Weather report says rain.


It rained all night long. The ski areas said they got some snow, but the Holy Men had fallen for that one before.

Bros Rich and Arthur went to the airport in early AM - it turns out Arthur's plane didn't leave till afternoon.  The remaining mendicants headed to the airport around 11 to try to get an earlier flight.  Steve.jpg (20035 bytes)It was cancelled, and they didn't get out till 5:30.

A long flight home, arriving at Logan after midnight.  Nancy and Karen had left a car at the airport, but it took a while to find it.  Eliot and Jeff pushing baggage carts up and down the frigid parking garage, like crazed bag ladies, while David scurried around with his hands over his freezing ears like an Arctic Scream.

All in all, a good week.  Good friends, good times, a good sign.


For spiritual guidance, you can contact the above holy men at

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